Reflection

I have been in a lot of pain in the last two weeks and have not felt like writing. As I woke this morning the pain was down to a dull roar and I have some memories to share.


The Asclepiade or recovery house was an amazing place to begin on my new journey. It is full of acceptance and love from all the staff. I can still see Simon's lovely smile each morning as I came for breakfast and it made the pain just a little less noticeable. The nurses are there for you and each has their own way. Some are very tender and some are no nonsense and right to the point. I found that during my stay that I needed each kind of nurse. When I needed to learn how to dilate it was nonsense and too the point or when I had a bad reaction to the meds Marc was there to hold my hand and sit with me and make sure I was going to be ok. It isn't easy being a nurse they as they are so many different personalities with differing  level of pain they deal with. They do it with such professionalism and love that I will always have a special place in my heart for there.


The friends I made there will be friends for life. I probably will never see them again but I will always keep in contact. You share a special bond with the ones that have gone through the surgery and you have lived with them at the house. You share your fears and pain. When you come down for your meal and are really hurting they know and share a smile or some comforting words because they have been through it.


I wish I could have stayed there another week but it is good to be home and see bailey, my parents and the friends I have now. The plane ride was very uncomfortable with all the turbulence that was encountered and made the pain worse.  I am so glad I got the wheelchair. The staff at Air Canada made sure my trip was comfortable as possible. As I walked into the baggage terminal it was so nice to see Llyn there with her wonderful smile. It really made me feel so much better and for a bit lessened my pain.


I am home and it has been hard. Coming for a environment where you are in total care and everything is looked after to having to do thing on your own. I have to not push myself as hard as I notice I am not sleeping as much or getting the rest I need to recover. In the recovery house there was always some one there when the pain was unbearable now you only have yourself to deal with it. I am slowly recovery but it is a long and arduous. I can see why some girls fail to follow the aftercare that is required. You have to commit to ensure you follow it diligently every day even on the day you feel like crap and don't want to do a thing.


Looking back at what the last 4 years had been like and all the trails and tribulation I have gone through. I know it has made me a stronger person and knowing everything I know today I would still have followed this path. I feel whole for the first time in my life. I love myself and in doing so has been able to develop friendship on such a personal level. I don't know what will happen in the future, all I can say is I will live my life to the fullest