Wednesday was a emotional day for me. I had coffee with my friend Oona. It was during the organizing of the booth for pride that I met her. Over this last little while we have become very good friends. In the last 50 years this never really happened for me and I don't think I had any close intimate friendship.
We were sitting over coffee yesterday and discussing how male and female friends are different. She talked about how her relationships are different with men as opposed to her girl friends. Whereas a male friend she doesn't see for a while they can pick up where they left off. With her girl friends if she did that, they would be hurt it is a much close relationship and one that gets emotional involved.
She asked me if I had thought about that. I really have not but on reflection she was right. Thinking about some of my male friends we never really got personal and would start where we left off even after months. I thought about the interactions I have now with my girl friends and it is much personal and intimate. Feeling are not hidden but discussed out in the open.
After having coffee with my friend i was in a bit of a rush as I was having my cousin Freda over for dinner. i got in my car and click.click click it would not start. I tried to call my friend to see if she had jumper cables, no answer, I tried to flag down several motorist but they were disinterested and either shook their head and waved me away. I walked two blocks to a garage and asked for help, was told they can't their insurance doesn't cover it. I was beginning to get worried what was I going to do. I flagged down a cab driver and he stopped and flagged another two cabs down. They had jumper cables but still could not get my car started.
One cabbie was very aggressive male and demanded money for each of the cabbies that helped. He would not take no for an answer as I had flagged them down they should be paid for there time. I felt helpless and gave them 20 dollars and they left.
A gentleman came from across the street and offered to help. He said pretty lady calm down I will help you as he tried to get it started but couldn't. He said wait here I have a friend with a garage several blocks from here. He came back with other others and the pushed me until my car picked up speed from the momentum and glided into the garage. They put a new battery in. While I was waiting several other women came in and I was surprised how easy it was for a conversation between us to start.
My cousin waited at my house for two hours when I finally got home. We had pizza for dinner talked about the days event and than she helped me purge my closet of outdated clothes. I have become close to my cousin after 20 years of being apart.
Today I realized how many close friends I have. I felt so much like a woman not once was there a thought I did not pass. There were many emotions I experienced frustration that I was stuck, fear from an aggressive male, satisfaction that a good looking man helped me and only saw me as a woman and finally the confidence that I am accepted in this world as a woman.
I know that there will be days I don't feel I pass. These will become further and further apart, like today even though I was starting to panic a bit I never felt more like a woman. There was no shell just me
No comments:
Post a Comment